First, Daddydoit needs to apologize for being AWOL for the last couple of weeks. We experienced a death in the family. A very important person to my wife, our children, and me died overseas. We are still walking with grief and will for quite sometime. His death was a great loss, but the world is a much better place because he lived.
We were unable to attend the funeral in Asia, so we made do with a service of our own here in Minneapolis. We went to a park on a beautiful October afternoon. There was a robust little pine tree in front of a stand of cattails. It's lowest branches were several feet high. We put pictures of our loved one against the trunk of the tree and hung strips of white cloth all around. Each of the children spread a handful of rice near the pictures and lit an incense stick. My wife and I laid flowers down. A finer alter has never been created. Then we each wrote a little note to him, telling how much we loved him, how much we'd miss him, and how sad it was that we'd never see him again. Then we cried together.
I think it's important to talk to children about death. Let them ask questions. Above all, it's important to be honest. My daughter asked me what happened to people after they die. I told her the truth; that I didn't know and that no one really knew for sure. People have faith about where we go after death. Faith feels a lot like knowing, but it's different.
I asked her what she thought. Where do people go when they die? My daughter is a very bright person. She said, "I think the body goes back to the ground, and the spirit goes up somewhere." I told her that that's what a lot of people think.
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