Judith from St. Paul writes:
Thanks for all the great ideas! [See: Things to Do with Your Kids: Granddaughters for a Summer Visit.] This Grandma has been inspired to search out all sorts of other goodies. I recommend Comedy of Errors at the Shakespeare Festival in Winona with a visit to the Eagles on the river on the way down and seeing the Nina and Pinta visiting on the river. With museums, baseball, swimming and fondue cooking, I will be exhausted but happy!
Now another question.I suspect that I will be taking them on a shopping spree for school. I am generally appalled by some of the styles of the teenagers today but understand that they need to be like their peers. What to do?
Thanks for the thanks, Judith. And thanks for the extra great things to do with kids. Your granddaughters are very lucky. As for fashion les faux pas for teen girls, there are generally two things to look out for from a filial point of view.
Item Number One: Clothing that's too suggestive sexually. You know what I'm talking about, the shirt that's not much more than a push-up bra or the no-see-um skirt. The belly-dancing belly without the bangles. Lots of this at the mall. And so many vamp stamps!
Shakira, Christina Aguilera, Lady Gaga, and Britney Spears (pictured above) perform in their underwear, and it gives some teen girls the impression that vampism is a good way to get noticed. Unfortunately, it's an effective way to get noticed. The entertainment industry has made a ton of dough off these hotties, so you can bet there'll be more of them. Not the best fashion role models for teen girls. (Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift seem to rely a bit more on their talent than sexual appeal.)
Flaunting her sexuality can get a girl rich and famous, and it will also get her noticed by the boys in the hallways and the lunchroom. Might even get her talked about in the locker room. It's a form of power. Unfortunately, this kind of blossom attracts the wrong kind of bee. So you're right to be concerned.
Item Number Two: Death Styles. If she uses makeup to look like a charcoal grill and she dresses like she's auditioning for an Adam's Family appearance, then your teen girl's psyche might be headed south. The Goth stuff sometimes - not always - encourages a nihilistic future orientation, as the psych pros like to say. A dark, cynical world view. It's opposite of the sixties when everything was a statement about peace and love. (Remember the sixties? I wasn't there. I read about it.) The hair was out of control on the corner of Haight and Ashbury. The jeans were all ratty and the colors were clashing, but the conceptual emphasis was on love and peace. Not death and blood. (The sixties analogy works for item number two only, not item number one.)
So what's a grandmother to do? You have control over what you pay for, but you don't have control over your granddaughters. Take a stand, but don't give them something to rebel against.
If they want something inappropriate, don't buy it for them. But don't lecture either. Be as matter of fact as you can. Something like this, "Oh Cindy, dear. I know that kind of thing is popular these days, but I don't agree with the message it sends. I can't stop you from spending your own money on that, but it's not something that I will buy for you." Then leave it alone. She's heard you. You've planted the seed. Let your unimpassioned ahem work itself into her thinking like a sliver beneath the skin. If she doesn't listen to you and shows up at the dinner table dressed like a Victoria's Secret ad, put a bowl of condoms in the bathroom vanity, wear beige, and keep your mouth shut.
And if you have problems with any other styles, then you're probably just being a fuddyduddy.
Good luck Judith!
copiwrite B. A. F.
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